8 Important Things You Should Know About Disciplining Your Child

8 Important Things You Should Know About Disciplining Your Child

Disciplining Your Child The Right Way

Discipline is derived from the Latin word “discipulus,” which means “to teach; to guide.” Punishment means “penalising” someone for doing something wrong. These can sometimes get mixed up, resulting in a less-than-ideal outcome for our children. As a result, it’s critical that we parents understand the following eight facts about disciplining our children.

1. Recognize Your Discipline Style

Dictator. This Dad is always strict and never nurtures his children. His children are aware of what he does not want them to do, but rarely of what he does want them to do. “My way or the highway,” says this father.

The monarch. When necessary, this father is strict, but he also nurtures. His children are aware of both what he does not want them to do and what he does want them to do. “Let me show you the way,” says this father.

The Joker’s alter ego. This Dad is never strict and rarely nurtures his children. He cracks a lot of jokes and makes fun of his children. His children have no idea what he does and does not want them to do. “Let’s just have fun,” says this father.

The Sustainer. This Dad is both strict and nurturing at times. He lets Mom take the lead on discipline and supports her when necessary. His children are aware of some of the things he does not want them to do as well as some of the things he does want them to do. “Do whatever Mom says,” says this father.

The Aspirant. This Dad is never strict or nurturing. He defers to Mom in terms of discipline and does not interfere. His children have no idea what he wants them to do or how he wants them to do it. “Whatever,” says this father. “Please leave me alone.”

When deciding which discipline style you prefer, ask yourself, “Is this the best style for my children/family/involvement?” Also, think about something more in the middle of the road.

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2. Understand the Family Rules

Clear communication is essential for determining what is right and wrong in your home. You’ll need to set clear boundaries in your home. Check out this article and think about implementing some rules in your home right away.

3. Understand Your Reward Options

Many fathers believe that discipline means “controlling” rather than “teaching or guiding.” As a result, when they punish, they use fear. When it comes to discipline, it’s critical that you know your child and what he or she considers a reward.

Here are some examples of rewards:

Praise: Tell your child that you appreciate their good behaviour and that they are a good person for doing it.

Give your child a hug, a pat on the back, or a high five to encourage them. It’s never too early to start teaching your child how to fistbump.
Give your child a new freedom that he or she can use one time or all of the time, such as staying up or going to bed later, reading an extra storey at bedtime, having a bowl of ice cream, or receiving money for doing an extra chore.

Gifts: Give your child a toy, stickers, or money.

4. Understand Your Punishment Options

When the time comes for punishment, fathers must be aware that they have options. Here are some examples:

Say You’re Disappointed: Tell your children that you expect more from them and that you expect them to behave properly.

Pay it Forward: Tell your child to make amends for bad behaviour, such as paying for something broken, performing the behaviour they were supposed to perform in the first place, or apologising to someone they have hurt.

Take a short break: Tell your child to sit in a corner, on the couch, or go to their room for a few minutes. This is most effective with children under the age of ten.

Grounding: Do not allow your child to leave the house for an extended period of time. Teens respond best to grounding.

Remove a Freedom: Take away a freedom for a set period of time or forever.

Make certain that the punishment is appropriate for the crime. Don’t take away a child’s freedom, for example, when they do something minor and telling them you expect more of them the next time will suffice.

5. Understand the Difference Between Discipline and Punishment

Many fathers view discipline as punishment. In other words, they do not believe that punishment can be used to discipline people in certain situations. Punishment and discipline are synonymous in their minds. Discipline means to instruct or direct. Punishment means “penalising” someone for doing something wrong.

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6. Recognize the Difference Between Action and Actor

Always concentrate on the “Action” rather than the “Actor.” Discuss what your child did. It’s fine to say your child did something “bad,” for example, as long as you don’t say your child is “bad” for doing it. Maintain your attention on the action.

Here are some suggestions for age-appropriate discipline:

Dads with Infants and Toddlers:

Discipline as a form of protection: At this age, guidance and discipline are all about keeping your child safe from harm. When your child does something dangerous, say “no” firmly but not harshly, and immediately remove him or her from the object or area.
Consistency is essential: Consistency in enforcing the boundaries you set in your home will confuse your child and give him the “ok” to push the limits if he thinks he can get away with it.

For Fathers with School-Age Children:

When your child does something inappropriate, talk with him or her gently about why the behaviour was wrong – explain how it hurt other people or is rude.

If you’re frustrated, take a break: Never discipline out of rage. Make an effort to always discipline calmly.

Make the discipline appropriate for the child: Different children will react differently to discipline. One of your children may learn better if he or she is denied a privilege (such as watching TV or playing with a favourite toy); another child may respond better to being sent to his or her room or having to do extra chores.

For Teenage Fathers:

Discipline as a form of guidance: Your teen is now an adult and expects to be treated as such. You must continue to be your teen’s parent, not a best friend, which means establishing rules to help your teen make good decisions and enforcing strict consequences when those rules are broken.

Allow them to make mistakes: While your teen must still follow your family’s rules, allowing them to make their own decisions can be a valuable learning experience. Always make it a point to communicate to your teen that you will always love them, even if they make mistakes.

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7. Understand the “Why” of Discipline

Explain to your child why he or she is being disciplined. Discipline is intended to guide your child and teach him or her a lesson. It is critical that you explain to your child why they must sit in their room or give up TV. What matters most is the lesson you teach them through discipline.

8. Understand How to End with Love

Never, ever, ever end with discipline; always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, Hug your child and tell him or her that you are disciplining him or her out of love.

What is the best piece of parenting advice you’ve ever received?

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